Although I understand how well your decision turned out for you, I can also understand your mother’s anger. I think it was insensitive of you to send away for applications, apply and accept invitations without discussing the process with your mother. I also think your father’s behavior was inappropriate when he hid what he knew from his wife and then smiled at you with happiness.
I grew up in a home like this where my mother kept secrets from my father because she was afraid of his anger. I think it was a very unhealthy relationship.
I believe the best way to handle your relationship would have been to tell both of your parents your college plans. If you had the means to cover your own education, you didn’t “need” to share your decisions with anyone, but it would have been more respectful.