Donald’s Gettysburg Address

Four score and several accusers ago, I brought forth upon this continent my campaign for president, conceived in arrogance and dedicated to the proposition that everyone loves me. Believe me. Now I am engaged in a great civil war with my party, testing whether the Republicans can long endure. I am standing today at a great battlefield, giving a speech on hallowed ground, dedicated to the fight against slavery; although, as you know, I am a racist. It may be altogether unfitting and improper, but I can say and do anything I want. These men who fought here weren’t so great because, as you already know, I like people who weren’t captured or killed. The world will note and long remember what I have done for them. And for those of you who won’t listen, I will make sure you perish from the earth. Believe me.