Thank you for writing this, Carmen. I am thinking this dilemma seems more true for women my age rather than millennials. When I got married in the 80s, it was to someone who was a good guy — kind and nice. Before him, I always gravitated to the “bad boys.” So I settled thinking that it was going to be a better life with the “boy next door,” that boy, who in the past, I would have fixed up with a friend.
I left him after nineteen years because he wasn’t emotional present, and the sex wasn’t there either. I knew all this from the beginning, but thinking a “bad boy” would make a lousy husband and father, I chose the good one.
Through my daughters, who are both millennials, I have the feeling that there are more good guys around in there twenties and thirties that enjoy expressing themselves and being emotionally present. I am happy for them but wish women of my age had the same choices.